im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
