hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
