We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
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