The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
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