Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Randomize
