I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
They have beer where we have blood.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
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