i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
The beer is more important than you right now.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
