you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
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