just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
