You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
