is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Couch. On fire.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
