Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
I just found puke in my bra..
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
