i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
