one might say we're banned from that church
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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