is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Randomize
