he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
now i know why i became what i already was.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Randomize
