I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
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