Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
