OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize