Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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