just come out here and I will go home with you...
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Randomize
