I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Randomize
