like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
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