He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Randomize
