whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
