Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
