this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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