I'm sorry my penis didn't work
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
i out mim tonsoeep
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize