absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize