Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize