Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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