So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
