I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Randomize
