therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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