not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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