Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
