so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
