so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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