I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
