And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Randomize
