i was rollin on her like bob the builder
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize