You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Randomize
