Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
