were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Randomize
