Need sex. Gaining weight.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
it's like heaven, but drunker
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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