how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
She even gives head with a lisp.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
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