I CAN MOONWALK!
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Welp...herpes.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Randomize
