i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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