She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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