I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
