DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize