I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Randomize
