It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Randomize
