with your own penis?
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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