oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
