Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Randomize
