Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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