I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
