I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize