im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize
