This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize