how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
