Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
