You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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