Joe is yelling at the trees again.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
